My Application To Play A Dead Body In Avengers: Endgame

Tyler Holme
Apr 28 · 4 min read

Hello both Joe and Anthony Russo Directors of TV and Film,

My name is Tyler, it’s pronounced “K’Tyler,” the ‘K’ is invisible. I am an out of work, yet always learning, actor who also happens to be a huge fan of all of your Avenger movies. Even your Avenger movies you didn’t direct! As a matter of fact, I was watching an Avenger movie of yours that you may or may not have directed just the other day. I noticed a lot of innocent people die in it, which was great news for me! While I have never been knowingly dead myself, or experienced death in any way, shape or form throughout my entire 28 years on this marvelous blue marble, I would love to graciously throw my hat into the ring and apply to play one of the many innocent dead bodies in your upcoming cinematic spectacle, Avengers: Endgame.

The following are 7 looks I’ve prepared for the role:

Dead with Eyes Closed - This is your classic “dead” look. Eyes closed, mouth slightly ajar. Maybe I have just been trampled to death in a stampede of innocent bystanders as various skyscrapers crumble to the ground during one of those awesome fight sequences with robotic lizards for some reason.

Dead with Eyes Open - This look is a bit more intense. It’s a bit more artful. Perhaps there’s a moment where War Machine cradles my lifeless body in his arms as he curses the heavens about the injustice of it all.

Dead Mid-Fall - I would use this look if I were, say, falling out of a runaway subway car or a runaway airplane while Cap chooses to give Bucky a hug instead of saving tens of innocent people. This could also serve as an excellent inciting incident for Cap’s redemption arc throughout the film. In the end Cap gets another hug… from the world!

Dead as a Drawing - An animated rendering of dead me done in the style of Pixar Studios. In case you wanted to make me into a CGI.

Dead with Sunglasses On - Self-explanatory.

Dead with Sunglasses Off - Fairly similar to “Dead with Eyes Closed,” but as you can see my eyebrows are slightly raised as if I just removed my sunglasses to ask, “is that a bird or is that a plane?” Sadly, I didn’t find out it was Iron Man’s limp body falling back to Earth after an epic intergalactic showdown with Thanos that blew up part of the moon until it was too late. In the end Iron Man survives the fall. I’m surprisingly cushy.

Dead as an Orange - This look will be perfect for the live-action fruit based Avenger Spinoff Disney+ series I will be pitching you in my next batch of emails.

As the late great Spike TV series 1,000 Ways to Die always said, “There are 1,000 ways to die,” and while I didn’t list 1,000 different ways I could die in your new Avengers movie, I have such great faith in my acting skills that I promise I will be able portray any death you bequeath upon me.

Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you with bated breath!

- T

P.s. I also have 12 years of experience in the pizza delivery industry.

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Tyler Holme

Written by

Award-winning filmmaker & comedy writer. Look over here: tylerholme.com

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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