My Final Wishes Should I Perish In This Porta Potty
Hi my Facebook followers! I’m live with terrible news. I know I posted that I was headed to an outdoor fall festival featuring mead, apple cider, foliage, crafters, and so many pumpkins. And I know you were all counting on the photos I was going to post to feel like you were here, instead of sitting in whatever mead-less location you were in.
And I am here, but I am stuck in a porta potty.
My phone is about to die, and I fear so am I. I wanted you all to hear my voice one more time. Please follow my directives should I not pull through this experience.
Don’t take a sip of liquid for four to six hours before leaving the vicinity of your home’s commode. Also, consider an adult diaper.
But should you take these precautions and still find yourself in this same precarious position as I have today, I am sorry for your suffering. You may have also trusted that if a plastic toilet hole hovel opened to let you in, it would open to let you out.
I have called for help repeatedly. However, people keep angrily banging on the door and a man playing John Denver’s greatest hits has an amp. Both are drowning out the sounds of my cries. I hope you, my followers, can hear me.
