My Grandson Gets A Little Too Much Joy Seeing Guys Get Hit In The Balls
Billy’s letter to Grandma
Dear Grandma,
How are you? I’m good. Daddy says you live in Florida. Is that far? Could I run there? How long would it take to run around the world? I drew a picture for you. I like it. It’s about the time I was playing mini-golf with Daddy and I swung the club too hard and hit him in the balls.
I hope you and Grandpa can come visit me soon. Is Grandpa’s hair real or fake? Mommy says he wears a teepee. What’s that? I found a quarter on the ground the other day. I asked Daddy if I could have it and he said yes. I leaned over to pick it up and accidentally elbowed Daddy in the balls.
That was my favorite.
How far is the moon from your house? If I had an airplane, could I fly there? Why are leaves green in summer and brown in fall? I was helping Daddy rake the leaves in the back of the house with the rake one time and accidentally hit him in the balls. He fell over. So did I. I thought it was funny. He thought it was so funny that he was crying.
I like President Trump. He’s good because he likes to get everyone in the balls. I like all the Presidents. One time, I met President Trump and hit him in the balls over and over. I was upset when I woke up and it was just a dream. I had another dream one time that President Obama was hitting President Trump in the balls over and over.
That was a good one too.
Daddy says he’s an account guy. He wears a tie everyday. Last week, Daddy took me to his work. I saw his office and his desk and stuff. Daddy’s boss told him a paper was late and the boss was mad. I wanted to help Daddy write the paper, so I took the stapler and stapled the boss in the balls with it. They had to take the boss to the hospital. Daddy scolded me and told me not to staple people’s balls again, but he was smiling at the same time. Daddy called Mommy and told her to hide all the office supplies at home.
I know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a fireman or an astronaut. What do you want to be when you grow up? Will you write me back soon? I hope when the mailman brings your letter, the dog bites him in the balls.
Love,
Billy
P.S. Punch Grandpa in the balls for me.
