My Toddler’s Bedtime Routine Explained Through Popular Movie Plots
Groundhog Day
Here you are again with your arm stuck under her sleeping head and no matter what you do the same thing will occur tomorrow night…and the night after that…and the night after that…
The Manchurian Candidate
Everything seems to be perfect; the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful bedtime you’ve ever known. He lies right down, says he loves you, and closes his eyes. Somehow though, you just can’t shake the feeling that it’s all too good to be true.
The Desolation of Smaug
She’s asleep but you left your iPhone on the bedside table. Do you try to sneak back in to retrieve it? Do you risk waking the dragon?
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (or any David Lynch film)
If your spouse asks, you pretend like you understand what’s happening but secretly you have no idea what’s going on. And there’s a short person speaking nonsense.
The Exorcist
Self-explanatory.
Fight Club
He is thrashing about on the bed so much that you suspect he is actually in a bare-knuckled fistfight with himself, but your significant other will still think it’s your fault. The first rule of bedtime is…
