Nihilist Summaries Of Children’s Classics, In Haiku
Goldilocks and the Three Bears
A girl wanders in
As long as we’re here, let’s try
Some senseless looting
The Rainbow Fish
To survive: conform
Rip out pieces of yourself
Until you’re empty
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
A butterfly’s all-
Consuming primal urges
Kills his former self
Where’s Spot?
Hidden in the house:
Animals cruelly confined
We shrug and move on
Llama Llama Red Pajama
Baby llama cries
“Mama, please! I need water!”
Water never comes
Harold and the Purple Crayon
Worlds are created
Then suddenly abandoned
Why? We draw a blank
