Non-Disclosure Agreement For My Sleepover

Ironclad rules regarding your time at my house

Photo by Scott Graham on Unsplash

The undersigned, hereby known as MY GUESTS, or MY BEST FRIENDS TYLER, JACE, and CAMERON, swear to uphold the following non-disclosure agreement regarding all events taking place at the sleepover of the birthday boy, hereby known as ME or DANNY D’ANGELIS.

My guests are not permitted to talk about the following:

• The wet spot in the middle of my bed that COULD HAVE BEEN ANYTHING, including — but not limited to — a glass of water I helped myself to at 2 AM even though I am afraid of the sound the radiator makes at night.
• My last place finish in Fortnite, which was obviously because of cheating bots and my definitely-broken controller.
• The kiss my Aunt Beth gave me, as well as the two cheek squeezes that followed.

*Note that the aforementioned topics do not constitute the entirety of forbidden after-school discussions, and care should be taken not to mention the slight similarities between the shape of my bed and a big red race car*

Signatories waive any right to discuss the existence of this document, except to deny it’s veracity with a firm “NUH UH” or a well-placed “I know you are, but what am I?”