Nothing Makes Me Feel Young Like Seeing The Band I’ve Been Listening To For Thirty Years

I can’t wait to relive all the good times I’m too old to experience!

James Klein
Slackjaw

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Licensed from Shutterstock Images

I couldn’t believe it when I heard my favorite band was going to be playing their 30th anniversary reunion concert in my city. I thought they broke up years ago, but here they were, just like when I was young, temporarily reforming to sell $495 tickets I would never have been able to afford when I was young.

Going to the concert will help me recapture all the excitement and possibility of my youth, without the danger and uncertainty that made me feel that way.

Watching the band’s distant, tiny figures in a 70,000-seat football stadium will be just like when I used to see them up close in small clubs and rundown bars long before they were popular. My luxury box package even includes a “rock ‘n roll wine and cheese picnic,” which I’m sure my younger self would think is cool.

The only difference now is the band members, as there’s only one original member in the band. There are two surviving members, but they’re suing each other over copyright issues. The guitar player I’m seeing had to change the name of the band slightly, while the lead singer started a different band with another similar name. The singer is…

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James Klein
Slackjaw

My dog thinks I’m cool. Humor in McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Points in Case, Greener Pastures, and others. All of it at jameskleinhumor.com.