Oldness is Wasted on the Old
As a 15 year old dude, there’s not very much I don’t know. While I may not have the “life experiences of an adult,” I’ve been around the block a few times, mostly on my sweet Huffy bike. In the decade and a half I’ve been alive, I’ve learned a lot about the world and my big takeaway is that old people really miss being young. Sure, you’ve seen it. These grandpas and grandmas staring out of windows as children ride by on bicycles, whispering to themselves, “youth is wasted on the young.” That’s where I am going to have to heartily disagree with the golden oldies. They’ve actually got it backwards. I think oldness is wasted on the old.
The geriatrics have it made and they don’t even know it. Every day, I wake up at the crack of dawn, go to school, accidentally fart at school, take a hundred quizzes, do chores, and then round out my day with homework. It stinks! Now compare my schedule to that of your average old person and tell me how you think things stack up. An old person wakes up when they want to, watches Live with Kelly Ripa, farts freely and without judgment, plays bingo with a bunch of other delightful old people and, maybe, walks down to the mailbox for “exercise,” before falling asleep to some CBS procedural at 8 PM. Sure, the daily activities might change. One day it’s bingo, the next it’s volunteering at the library, or singing in a church choir, but the basic schedule remains the…
