Panicked Excuses For When You’re Asked To Join A Local Community WhatsApp Group
Protect your peace from requests, complaints, and unsolicited gifs.
“I don’t have a phone.”
“I’m up to date on what’s going on in the area already. I’m very social.”
“My in-house data protection policy prohibits me from sharing my number.”
“I’m not technically an official resident; I live within the walls.”
“I’m a child, and my parents aren’t home. I look older because I’ve had a very hard life.”
“I’m on my way to do an impossible escape room. I refuse to cheat on moral grounds, so I will be unavailable for quite some time.”
“I’m an empath. I will be deeply affected upon hearing Christina from 18a had her matcha tea DoorDash stolen again.”
“I’m limiting my screen time. I’m not, as we speak, watching a Vanderpump Rules fan account Tiktok montage.”
“I’m just not interested in the drama.”
“I’m in too many WhatsApp group chats already. I’m very popular.”
“I would never give my number to a man I’ve just met!”
“I’m a LARPer. Oh, LARP? It means dressing up like you’re from another era? And then…
