Passive-Aggressive Emails Toddlers Sent After The Incident At Playgroup

Shannon Carpenter
Slackjaw
Published in
3 min readJun 15, 2020

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Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

From: SunshineKitty@aol.com

To: ElmoFan@hotmail.com

Subject: The Incident at the Brookside Playgroup

Dear Kaeden,

Today’s email is brought to you by the letter K!

I wanted to touch base with you on behalf of all the other toddlers at the Brookside playgroup and discuss today’s incident. No doubt you are aware of the importance of the sharing economy, especially when it comes to the dump truck toys. We appreciate your uniqueness during imagination play, but dump trucks should go vroom-vroom and not chugga-chugga. Many other toddlers found it off-putting and tried to run outside naked. Luke made it all the way to the driveway. Our parents were so upset they could barely Instagram the event.

Can you think of a way we can avoid this phrasing in the future so we can continue to expect organic toddler synergy? I’ve reattached the playgroup rules for your reference.

Thanks,

Hanna, AKA Sunshine Kitty.

From: ElmoFan@hotmail.com

To: SunshineKitty@aol.com

Subject: Re: The Incident at the Brookside Playgroup

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Shannon Carpenter
Slackjaw

Shannon Carpenter is the author of The Ultimate Stay At-home Dad and co-host of Dadhousepod.com @HossmanAtHome. Represented by Chris Kepner of The Kepner Agency