Perfectly Good Reasons These Baby Names Are Off-Limits

Rachel Reyes
Slackjaw
Published in
4 min readJun 18, 2021

Image by sohyun park from Pixabay

Steven: No way — that’s my boss’s name.

Isabella: Kevin from my D&D group and his wife are also having a baby, and they already chose that name. I know you love it, honey, but I don’t want it to look like we’re copying them.

Mary: Pass. I have an ex-girlfriend named Mary, who faked her own death to avoid breaking up with me.

Rachel Reyes
Slackjaw

Rachel Reyes’s humor writing has appeared in McSweeney’s, Points in Case, Slackjaw, and elsewhere. Check out her work at rachelnreyes.com.