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Please Do Not Kiss Me At My New Year’s Eve Party
Like, for real, guys.
To: New Year’s Bash
3:34 PM
Subject: Get Hyped, Also I Have an Ask
Hey everyone,
I’m super excited for tonight and I hope you all are too. Just to reiterate the info from the RSVP, because I’ve gotten some texts about it, arrive at my place between 9 and 9:30 so I can have my door guy let you in.
I know you’re all gassed up for another year of my epic New Year’s party, but I have a request to make. As many of you know, Lisa and I recently broke up. It got rocky, the bedroom wasn’t the same as it used to be (on her end, not mine), and we ended it. It was mutual, and we’ve decided to remain friends. She, as well as many of her girlfriends (who I hope I can say are now my friends too 😁) are coming to the party. Hey, all. Hey Lisa.
Anyway, as we are all aware there is a certain smooching tradition on New Year’s Eve when the clock strikes midnight. For the past two years, Lisa and I have engaged in it vigorously, which everyone totally loved, except those who were jealous (sorry, haters 🤪 ). Unfortunately, that will not be happening this year.
As I am now an eligible bachelor, I’m sure many of you lovely ladies are thinking that tonight will be a good…
