Possible Reasons “She’s 12” Is Trending On Twitter (And Their Likelihoods)

Joe Wellman
Slackjaw
Published in
2 min readSep 24, 2020

Photo by Sara Kurfeß on Unsplash

Greta Thunberg has a little sister and she is being publicly chastised by American conservatives for having an opinion. (Likelihood: Somewhat Likely)

The “she’s 12” hashtag has been hijacked by Indonesian sweatshop owners in an effort to troll humanitarian groups calling for an end to child labor. (Likelihood: Likely)

A picture of a 12-year-old girl grinning in joy as she hula-hoops has gone viral without controversy. (Likelihood: Somewhat Unlikely)

Folks are civilly debating the merits of paying for the stomach surgery of an aging female cat. (Likelihood: Very Unlikely)

The Weeknd has put out a new single about falling in love with a minor. (Likelihood: Likely)

A U.S. Navy vessel constructed in 2008 remains seaworthy. (Likelihood: Very Unlikely)

People are sharing a video of an overbearing mother forcing her weeping, exhausted daughter to play “The Entertainer” on piano until she gets it right. (Likelihood: Somewhat Likely)

Donald Trump has floated the idea of nominating hardline pro-lifer and 7th grade jazz band percussionist Lily Rhodes as his Supreme Court pick in an impromptu press conference. (Likelihood: Will Absolutely Happen Sometime Soon)

A parent is letting her skittish daughter watch “Requiem For A Dream” with her older brothers and live streaming her reactions. (Likelihood: Somewhat Likely)

A school police officer has tased a young student for line-jumping on macaroni & cheese pizza day. (Likelihood: Very Likely)

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Joe Wellman
Slackjaw

Joe lives in Chicago, Illinois. He likes biking, writing, and making short lists of things he likes to do.