Presenting My Scientific Breakthrough Of A Snake With Human Arms
I’m ready to be praised for my groundbreaking innovation!
In the plodding march of scientific discovery, there are times when progress takes a bold leap forward. This is one of those times.
I am Dr. Andrew Delacava, the world’s foremost reptile geneticist. I have asked you here today — family, friends, colleagues, and the media — to announce an historic achievement in genetic engineering.
Give me a second to get it out of the cage. Okay, here it is. I am thrilled to present the very first snake with human arms!
Why isn’t anyone clapping? Maybe you didn’t hear me. I’ll try again. Behold, a snake with three human arms!
You’re all just staring at me. Can you see the snake? I’ll hold it up higher. See it now, clutching my shoulder with its hands?
What’s the matter with you? You should be really impressed. Instead, I hear you grumbling in the audience. Are you jealous of my genius? That is so petty of you.
It was really hard to give a snake human arms. Not just one or two arms either, but three! I was trying for four, so it could walk around on its hands, but only three arms grew to normal size. The fourth is kind of stunted — it’s just two fingers…
