Pros And Cons Of Seeking Investors For My Startup At Pop Pop’s Funeral
Pro: He always loved my homemade energy drinks made with all-natural ingredients.
We had a shared passion for energy drinks. So it only makes sense for me to share our story with potential investors in mourning. I know some might think it’s a bit crass to promote my startup during Grandpa’s wake, but you can rest assured it’s what he would’ve wanted. After all, I got my stubborn entrepreneurial spirit from him. Despite doctor’s orders, he was my dedicated sample taster until the very end.
Con: My parents made me swear I wouldn’t mention it.
Did I mention it’s called R.I.P. Energy? It’s innovative, original, and the world’s only energy drink that honors my deceased grandfather. It’s a shame but I suppose concepts like “Unique Selling Proposition” and “Cornering the Beverage In Memoriam Market” don’t mean a thing to Mom and Dad.
I think this one is less of a “Con” and more of an “I don’t have time to explain basic marketing principles to my parents.” I’m busy. I have an investor’s tribute to plan.
Pro: He was a caring, supportive (and my only) investor.
Pop Pop graciously left me his car, which I immediately traded in for a few hundred bucks. It served as some decent startup capital, but we’re going to need a lot more to launch this thing to the moon from my parent’s basement. If Grandpa was still here, I’m sure he would’ve encouraged me to seize every funding opportunity, even if it was during my eulogy.
Con: Dad threatened to kick me out.
Honestly, I’m calling his bluff. Anyone who sees my pitch deck is going to be begging for a piece of the pie. Even my dad, who claims the energy drink market is “too saturated to break into.” His business acumen pales in comparison to his ability to hold grudges. I bet he’s still upset with me for sneaking in some samples to the hospital for Pop Pop.
Pro: R.I.P. Energy was Grandpa’s last drink.
The doctors said they found him right after he passed, clenching an empty can. Apparently, he had a hidden stash under his hospital bed. Pretty touching, right? Talk about company commitment.
My elevator vigil pitch is basically writing itself.
Con: There’s a (very small) chance R.I.P. Energy killed my grandfather.
“Or at least, sped up the inevitable,” according to some cardiologist that’s hell-bent on tarnishing my brand. I’ll tell you what was “inevitable”: Pop Pop’s unwavering support from the beginning to his end.
It just wouldn’t feel right if we didn’t celebrate his death with the birth of my startup.
For your chance at a life-changing opportunity, come on by the Longwood Funeral Home this Saturday at noon. Free R.I.P. Energy swag bags at the door.
