Psychoanalyzing My Houseplants

Fern was much too loved as a child, and it shows.

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Pothos

Reads a lot of self-help books, and after finishing each book actually makes substantial changes in their life in order to better themselves.

So centered and at peace that they’re able to thrive in any environment.

Good at establishing personal boundaries and communicating their emotional needs with others.

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Basil

Feels anxious unless they’re the center of attention.

Confuses excessive cologne for a personality.

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Fiddle Leaf

Bad at adapting to change.

Likes to maintain control at all times.

Relies heavily on Google Calendar.

Requires just the right amount of attention — too little and they feel neglected, too much and they’re suffocated and panicky.

Likes the idea of meditation but can never stop thinking long enough to successfully do it.

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Ivy

Their goth exterior leads you to believe they’re tough as nails but on the inside, they’re soft and crave affection.

Watches sappy Christmas rom-coms year-round but will never admit to it.

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Snake Plant

When asked to describe themselves in one word, they go with “introverted.”

Feels uncomfortable putting themselves out there because they fear being rejected.