Quiz: Are You Shopping With Your Family At IKEA, Or Are You Jack Torrance In The Shining?

Sianna Lani
Slackjaw
Published in
3 min readJul 11, 2023

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Jack Nicholson in “The Shining.”
Image Copyright: Warner Brothers. (Fair Use.)

1. You feel compelled to spend an excessive amount of time with your wife and son at this enormous, bewildering building which has a dark, twisted history of tearing families apart.

2. You just assumed you’d make it out alive.

3. You walk in and realize there are so many bedrooms — each one fully furnished with nightstands, cabinets, closets, lamps, chairs, wall art, and fluffy pillows.

4. Upon further exploration, you come across numerous lounges, dining rooms, and an expansive kitchen area too.

5. You quickly get comfortable and start hanging out as if you’re in your own home.

6. As time passes, more and more people show up and you realize this place is way more crowded than you expected.

7. To make matters worse, the bloody elevators are always overflowing.

8. Amidst the chaos, your son wanders off on his own and encounters other unfortunate children who were doomed to come here by their parents.

9. The place starts getting the best of you, and you eventually have several outbursts and disagreements with your wife.

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Sianna Lani
Slackjaw

Humor writer based in Honolulu, Hawaii | Slackjaw, Points In Case, MuddyUm, and Little Old Lady Comedy | Tweet me @SiannaLani | Sianna.Lani@gmail.com