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Relax In Our Fragile Airbnb
Just don’t touch any of our expensive, easily broken decor
Namaste and aloha. We are Dylan Stratocaster and Marlowe Lovebreeze, the suspiciously attractive owners of Olocan, the vaguely indigenous-sounding name of our rental property in Joshua Tree, California.
Now that you’re here, it’s time to relax. Smell the air. Breathe the sun. Pick the dust from your teeth. You are about to experience the unique solitude of the California desert, with only the cactus, the wind, and the other hastily built rental properties around you.
The desert is a place of fragile beauty. The same is true of Olocan. While you’re here, forget your worries, and leave your troubles behind. Worry instead about the troubles you’ll have for breaking any of the elaborate rules for staying at our pricey and delicate property.
We hope you didn’t have trouble finding the place on the unmarked dirt roads. This formerly barren scrub-land next to an industrial park was only developed last month, to take advantage of the area’s fleeting popularity as a place that looks better on Instagram than it does in real life.
We constructed Olocan with love, good vibes, and no intention of living there. But we are definitely real people, and not a stock photo chosen by a marketing company. We don’t want…