Roles Law School Prepared Me for Besides an Actual Career in the Law

- The one cocktail party guest who knows how to pronounce “writ of certiorari”
- Therapy patient diagnosed with latent anger caused by a law firm partner referring to her as “sweetie” and “honey”
- Collector of books such as Alternative Careers for Lawyers, What Color is Your Parachute? and No, You’re not a Big Fat Failure
- Band-Aid model from paper cuts sustained from hours of document review
- Escapee from a soul-crushing job spent reviewing documents and billing clients for bathroom breaks
- Attendee at college alumni event who hovers by the refreshments to avoid answering the question “So what do you do for a living?”
- Disappointment to immigrant parents
- Dedicated yet non-obnoxious practitioner of yoga and meditation
- World traveler determined to make up for years of missed vacations
- Client who insists to her financial advisor she is not burning through life savings while making up for years of missed vacations
- Dedicated and obnoxious student of improv comedy
- Writer and star of a one-woman show titled Dissent into Hell
- Contestant on America’s Got Talent who performs a duet with a puppet bearing an uncanny resemblance to Ruth Bader Ginsburg
- Recycler of law school donation letters