Sandy Perlmutter, once again, you are a good egg. By mentioning the slap bracelets you have given me an opportunity to right a creative wrong that I was unsure how to address.
I have a confession to make. My use of “slap bracelets” for comic effect… and let’s be clear — it’s obvious comic gold… is stolen from none other than Morgan Rock Loehr. You can see his original use of it here:
How’s Tinsel Town? I bet great. Do you hang out with big time stars like Dean Cain and Kevin Sorbo? Tell them hi for me…medium.com
I’m just lucky you gave me the chance to come clean before the inevitable twitter fight over stolen material. It’s not that I’m afraid of Morgan, but I have arthritic thumbs, and haven’t updated to the latest emoji set, so I’m not looking to mix it up right now.
On a positive note, we’ve started using slap bracelets as the de-facto currency in the Slackjaw office. Here is a partial list of their value:
1 Slap Bracelet (tiger, polka dot, solid, or spiral) is roughly equivalent to:
- 1/2 of a Little Debbie peanut bar
- A shift as “copy-editor” (being copy editor is the best job at SlackJaw because all you have to do is sit in the slot editor chair and play Klondike on a Win 32 machine)
- 1/3 of a can of Diet coke
- 1 full can of caffeine free Diet coke
- Ante for the afternoon spades game
- 4 cups of Wednesday coffee
- .475 of a Seventh Generation Organic Cotton Tampon
- An “Employee of the Week” certificate from Greg Gueldner
- 5 pistachios (still in shell)
See, you not only allowed me to clear the air with Morgan, Sandy, you also gave me the opportunity I needed to hit my in-line advertising weekly quota of brand mentions! Man, I owe you a slap bracelet!