Sandy Perlmutter, once again, you are a good egg. By mentioning the slap bracelets you have given me an opportunity to right a creative wrong that I was unsure how to address.

I have a confession to make. My use of “slap bracelets” for comic effect… and let’s be clear — it’s obvious comic gold… is stolen from none other than Morgan Rock Loehr. You can see his original use of it here:

I’m just lucky you gave me the chance to come clean before the inevitable twitter fight over stolen material. It’s not that I’m afraid of Morgan, but I have arthritic thumbs, and haven’t updated to the latest emoji set, so I’m not looking to mix it up right now.

On a positive note, we’ve started using slap bracelets as the de-facto currency in the Slackjaw office. Here is a partial list of their value:

1 Slap Bracelet (tiger, polka dot, solid, or spiral) is roughly equivalent to:

• 1/2 of a Little Debbie peanut bar
• A shift as “copy-editor” (being copy editor is the best job at SlackJaw because all you have to do is sit in the slot editor chair and play Klondike on a Win 32 machine)
• 1/3 of a can of Diet coke
• 1 full can of caffeine free Diet coke
• Ante for the afternoon spades game
• 4 cups of Wednesday coffee
• .475 of a Seventh Generation Organic Cotton Tampon
• An “Employee of the Week” certificate from Greg Gueldner
• 5 pistachios (still in shell)

See, you not only allowed me to clear the air with Morgan, Sandy, you also gave me the opportunity I needed to hit my in-line advertising weekly quota of brand mentions! Man, I owe you a slap bracelet!