Script For A Planetarium Show After All The Billionaires Have Moved To Space
Since the dawn of time, mankind has told stories about the night sky. The ancient Greeks saw in the stars a mighty hunter, Orion, who was stung by a scorpion and placed in the sky by the Gods. The Romans believed Luna, the goddess of the moon, rode her silver chariot across the horizon each night. Today we look to the night sky and see not warriors or gods but something even better: human men, who accidentally did something cool with computers in the 90s and also like Star Wars.
Ah! There’s Ursa Major. Ancient civilizations saw in this constellation of stars a ladle, a wagon, or even a bear. In fact, before it was known as “Virgin Space,” it used to be commonly called “The Big Dipper.”
Virgin Space, of course, was the first billionaire colony to be established in the night sky, shortly after the Great Ocean Fire of 2023 and the subsequent smog mouth epidemic. Many billionaires told their staff to put on a N-300,095 mask and pack up their first, third, and Martha’s Vineyard homes right away so they could embark on this new adventure.
But some billionaires remained on Earth. Elon Musk, for example, refused to move to Virgin Space because he is definitely not a virgin. But of course you already know that: this fact was added to our national anthem in 2025.
