Photo by Frederick Tubiermont on Unsplash

Silent Laugher Denied Entry at Comedy Club

I was walking up to the Comedy Store, fully prepared to get my giggle on. In fact, I was laughing at something my friend Jason said, right as we were walking up. As I approached the rope, the enormous doorman glared at me and began shaking his head.

“You ain’t coming in,” he said.

I was in shock. I only had one beer at the restaurant. It couldn’t be that I was too drunk.

“Why not?” I asked him. “Did I do something wrong?”

“I saw you laughing just now,” he said. “There was no sound.”

“So?”

“Silent laughers ain’t welcome,” he insisted, pointing to the sign that said so, just behind him.

I couldn’t believe it. I’ve always been a little self conscious about my inability to express audible joy, but this was nothing short of discrimination.

“Why aren’t we welcome?” I asked. “I’m still smiling and laughing, just like the rest of you.”

“But the comedians don’t hear it!” he shouted. “Do you know what would happen if I let every silent laugher in here? This place would turn into a funeral home.”

I could see his point. I had noticed in the past, that whichever section I sat in, ended up getting scolded by the frustrated comic. But how could they deny me outright?

“I’m sorry to keep pestering you, sir, but are you telling me that I’m banned from enjoying live stand-up comedy forever, just because my laugh doesn’t reverberate throughout the room?”

No longer able to contain himself, the doorman burst out laughing,

“I’m fucking with you, man” he said, as his giggling sidekick removed the sign, making it clear it was all just a gag.

Once I was in on the joke, I immediately fell to the floor and began laughing hysterically, uncontrollably, and of course, inaudibly.

The doorman, unsure of what was happening, immediately called 9–1–1 to inform them I was having a seizure.