Single Men Pitch Themselves To Me On Shark Tank
This Shark is ready to settle — I mean, invest!
Narrator:
Tonight, hopeful men will enter the Shark Tank with the goal of getting an emotional investment. The dudes must convince the Shark to invest the full amount they’re asking for, or they’ll walk away with nothing.
Who is the Shark? She’s a self-made thousandaire who’s helped hundreds of men nationwide realize their glaring lack of potential. The Shark is on a never-ending, painstaking quest to find the best guys in America, and if she hears a great idea or sees a fine-ass gentleman, she’s prepared to make a deal.
Narrator:
First into the tank is Ryan, a classic fuckboy seeking something casual in exchange for 1% of his time.
Ryan:
What’s up, Shark? I’m Ryan, and I’m the CEO and co-founder of MY DICK. Haha, naw, but really––I’m just here for some quality intercourse. I have 3,000 Instagram followers, so you know I’m legit, and I love women, but strictly in a sexual way.
