In August, we announced The Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge, a 30-day extravaganza of focused comedy writing, open to all, with a $1,000 grand prize and two $500 runner-up prizes.
After reading and reading and reading (and re-reading) the 380 (!) entries, we realized we needed to add a dozen $100 finalist prizes and 20 honorable mentions. The entries were that amazing.
Here they are: the winners of the inaugural Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge — which we are revealing two-at-a-time, starting Oct. 9.
- Ernest Hemingway At The Taco Bell Cantina by Jude Flannelly (Grand Prize)
- New — It’s Adjunct Barbie™! by Katie Burgess (Second Place Runner-Up)
- My Kids: RANKED! by Jordan Lee Cohen (Third Place Runner-Up)
- This Song Sucks Ass: A Line By Line Analysis Of “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” And How I’d Fix It by Ryan Ciecwisz (Finalist)
- We’re Pleased To Offer Your Brand The Opportunity To Align With Jesse’s Momentous Gallbladder Removal by Rachel Hoiles Farrell (Finalist)
- Replies To Yelp Reviews Of My Hedge Maze by Pat Landers (Finalist)
- Research Participants Wanted (To Beat My Ass) by Nick DiMaso (Finalist)
- I Order The Supplies In My Office, And I Am Drunk With Power by Nick Ortolani (Finalist)
- The Future Of Education Is An Interactive Laptop Screen That Destroys All Hope And Joy by Chas Gillespie (Finalist)
- I’m Your About-To-Be-Born Baby, And Here’s All The Ways My Birth Will Terrify You Two Idiots by Chris Knight (Finalist)
- It’s Finally Time We Talk About How Pumpkins Can Feel Us Carve Them by Domenico Siravo (Finalist)
- Single Men Pitch Themselves To Me On Shark Tank by Sara Katherine Runnels (Finalist)
- I Was Devastated To Discover My Husband Isn’t Just Married To Me, He Is Also One Helluva Drummer by James Hamilton (Finalist)
- 12 Tips For When The Town Elders Choose You For The Skin Harvest by Linton Lewis (Finalist)
- This Year’s Theater Camp For Tone-Deaf Kids Was A Screeching Success! by Emily Clouse. (Finalist)
Starting late October, we will be publishing some honorable mentions that we also loved. In no particular order…
- What I Imagine The Fleetwood Mac Tour Bus Is Like by Gary M. Almeter
- An Email from My Boss The Monday After The Freaky Friday My Toddler Went To Work in My Body by Jenn Knott
- Sexual Position Or Imminent Warning Sign Of An Economic Recession? by Ian Goldstein
- Disclaimer: Our Moving Company’s Logo Inaccurately Touts The Size Of Our Employees’ Muscles by Nick Logsdon
- Please Do Not Shake It All About: Hokey Pokey For These Litigious Times by Erin Palmer
- I Would Have Loved Living In New York In The 1970s Because I Love Blondie, And I Assume That Is All Anyone Talked About Back Then by Eddie Small
- If You’re Reading This, Then It Means I Died From Holding In My Farts At Work All Day by Janelle Blasdel
- Thank You for Attending Our Wedding, Which Has Not Yet Gone Viral by Pete Lynch
- Someone Asked Me To Watch Their Stuff At A Coffee Shop, So I Took It Home To Keep It Safe by Leah Jereb
- Rules For Sharing This Café With Me, A Writer by Jennifer S. Brown.
- I Was One Of The Boys That Tried Out, And Was Cut From, The Basketball Team That Allowed Air Bud, A Dog, To Play by Tyler Gooch
- Self-Incriminating Popup Offers by Natalie Holt
- Causal Fridays by David Bradley Isenberg
- Quick! Your Aunt Is Calling — Can You Guess Which Member of Your Family Is Dead? by Rachel Smith
- I Guess This Is Goodbye: Your Baby Is Leading Me Into The Darkness With A Death Grip On My Index Finger by Sara Zadrima
- Your Husband Secretly Signed A Lease On Another Apartment by bernthis.
- Instead Of A Traditional Wedding Registry, We’re Asking You To Take Turns Watering Our Plants by Catherine Davis
- We’ve Successfully Simulated A Universe Where Aristotle Had PlayStation by Jason Katz
- Please Donate To Our Introvert Rescue Park by Gracie Beaver Kairis
- Death Of A Freelancer by William Most
Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge 2020!?
Another Challenge? By popular demand, it’s very likely. Click here to join the Interested List — and you’ll be the first to know when we do!