So Your Hair Smells: Now What?

Elizabeth is Dead
Slackjaw
Published in
3 min readAug 19, 2020

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Image by Liz Wolfe via Elizabeth is Dead.

You just caught a whiff of something sour, and baby, it’s your hair! Sure, showering is an option, but washing your mane too frequently can cause split ends. Dry-shampoo could work, but it’s costly and often bad for the environment. What’s a festering pile of dead skin to do?

You’re in luck. I’ve pulled together a list of simple, at-home alternatives that will be kinder to your wallet, Mother Nature, and your greasy-ass hair:

  1. Baking Soda — This is a great choice if your hair stinks to high hell. Baking soda is often found in the fridge where it is used to cover up the smell of leftover shrimp scampi. When using it on yourself, split your hair into sections and dump it everywhere. PRO TIP: Baking soda requires an acid and a liquid to become activated, so you’ll need to squeeze some kind citrus or battery juice on your head as well.
  2. Baking Powder — When life doesn’t give you lemons, GOOD! You don’t need ’em. Baking powder does the same job as baking soda but without the need for an acid bath. You can typically find baking powder wherever you keep your massive blob of shredded coconut and expired bag of chocolate chips.
  3. Baby Powder — This old-school trick really works. Sure, it may cause cancer, but so might potato chips and putting your head inside a microwave. All we’re saying is it’s an option. Don’t have baby…

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Elizabeth is Dead
Slackjaw

Liz Wolfe is an exaggerated nonfiction writer and satirical cartoonist. You can read more of her drivel at https://elizabethisdead.com/.