Some Alternate Phrases Men Can Say Instead Of “We’re Pregnant!”

“We’re finding it difficult to sleep because my wife has leg cramps, hip pain, and swollen hot feet, and I wake up every time she farts.”

Elizabeth Simone
Slackjaw

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Photo Credit: Shvartsman Dmitry, Pexels

“We’re having a baby!”

“We’re feeling sick a lot these days because my wife is growing a human in her body and whenever I hear her vomit, it makes me queasy.”

“We’re going to lots of doctor appointments in which my wife has to get poked and prodded and weighed and asked invasive questions while I sit there and look at memes on my phone.”

“We’re making a lot of stops on this road trip because my wife has to pee every twenty-five minutes due to the baby pressing against her bladder, and I drank a large iced-coffee.”

“We’re having heartburn because my wife’s expanding uterus is pushing her stomach up into her chest cavity, while I just ate a Sonic chili cheeseburger and laid down to watch the game.”

“We’re finding it difficult to sleep because my wife has leg cramps, hip pain, and swollen hot feet, and I wake up every time she farts.”

“We’re changing the way we exercise because my wife can no longer do anything she loves that involves a risk of falling such as…

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Elizabeth Simone
Slackjaw

Words in The Belladonna, The Weekly Humorist, Greener Pastures, Slackjaw, Points In Case, Little Old Lady Comedy. IG: @comic__diary