Photo credit: Alexandru Acea

Spring Fashion Tips for Your Fridge

Allison Ellis
May 17, 2019 · 2 min read

Time to get rid of those ill-fitting jar tops, bulging bags of lunch meat with the tags still on, and fleeting yogurt trends. Yes, it can be difficult to part with well-loved items, especially since florals are trending and blue-green mold spores can really turn heads, but the next time you open that refrigerator door, ask yourself:

Do you love it?

It’s a statement piece all right, but that four-foot-tall container of Parmesan cheese might be crowding out your other — perhaps more meaningful — food relationships. Do you and that jar of cornichons even look cute together? If not, toss.

Does it have sentimental value?

Sure, it’s fine to keep your aunt’s homemade jar of lemon curd in the very back near the temperature gauge — but only for the guilt that it inspires.

Did you buy it on sale?

Totally fine if whatever it was that you bought in bulk — wine, stuffed olives in every color, nut butter variety pack — pairs well with raw, organic apple cider vinegar and turmeric stains.

Is it timeless?

There are some staples that truly stand the test of time: classics like little black jars of dressings (think occasions, like “cocktail” and “BBQ”) and hard cheeses (whose hemlines can be trimmed or tailored to suit your tastes). For most items, though, your best bet is to stick with 7–10 day juice cleanses.

Have you eaten it in the last two years?

It happens. Sometimes food trends occur faster than we can stomach our every in-the-now hunger for something new.

How do you feel about fur?

It’s all about texture. For a dramatic look, mix animal product prints with a deconstructed fruit or vegetable gone furry for a pop of color.

Do you want flies with that?

Hello, protein! Also, slimming.

Hard buns or whole grain buns?

It is possible to have it both ways.

What in your fridge is frustrating you right now? What in your fridge are you tolerating?

These might be signs of energy drain. Remember, refrigerators are the second largest user of electricity in your home, second only to air conditioners. If you look at your fridge and start feeling down about yourself or those around you in your kitchen, follow Dr. Oz’s advice and just wear stretch pants and order takeout.

What do you really, really want to eat right now?

Wait twenty minutes, drink two glasses of water and then take a short quiz: is your fridge style more Keto, Paleo, Dukan, liquid, meal kit, fast, fasting, sticky, sporty, mom jean, boho, or vintage. See? Possibilities!

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Allison Ellis

Written by

Writer, editor, MFA candidate. Words in NYT, WaPo, Marie Claire, SELF, Seattle Times. allisonellis.com

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.