Take the 2nd Annual IQ Smartass Quiz for a Chance to Win a Free Termite!

Think you’re a smartass? We’re Smartass International (SAI) and we’re looking for quality Smartass.

Take the 2nd Annual IQ* Smartass Quiz** for a Chance to Win a Free Termite!***

* Not a real IQ test.

** Terms and Conditions apply.

*** Or an earwig. (While supplies last.)

Think you’re a smartass? We’re Smartass International (SAI) and we’re looking for quality Smartass. Are you SAI material? Take this IQ* quiz and find out.

Please phrase your answers in the form of a question. Give yourself one point for each correct answer.

1) Ten accordions, six bagpipes, and a didgeridoo.

2) A most enticing après-dawn aroma.

3) A yurt.

4) Vomit on them.

5) Six.

6) Blue.

7) A Class B biosolid.

8) Melting a dime.

9) .

10) Big Chocolate.

11) The League of Crafty Potatoes

12) Only in a doobie.

13) Feeding a magnet to a cow.

14) Justin Bieber.

15) As you can see, we have a vacancy in Accounting.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

ANSWERS

1) What is a brouhaha composed of?

2) What is napalm?

3) What should you never wear inside a Unitarian church?

4) What is the correct way to address an anti-vaxxer?

5) How many Looney Tunes character impressions can you do before your date says he has to get up early tomorrow?

6) What is the best color?

7) What should you never eat just before bed?

8) What will get you up to 12 months in a Canadian prison?

9) What does a vestigial nipple look like?

10) Can I get an amen?

11) What was the name of my all-girl band in high school?

12) Is it legal to smoke catnip in Alaska?

13) What is the treatment for hardware disease?

14) What vaporizes at a temperature of 2500 degrees Fahrenheit?

15) What statement will get you out of most embarrassing situations?

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Your score:

0 to 6 Look, if you can’t take this seriously, how can we take you seriously?

7 to 9 You’ve half-assed this one.

10 to 14 Close, but no cigar. Try again next year. (And try to get out more.)

15 You, my friend, are a Smartass.