Ten Hall And Oates Songs That Could Be The Titles Of True Crime Documentaries
“You can’t escape my private eyes, they’re watching you, they see your every move.” — Hall and Oates
Sara Smile — After telling a woman on the street she’d “be prettier if she smiled” before being flipped off, a man decides he’ll cheer her up by converting his basement into a Barbie dream house and locking her up there.
Family Man — An average, middle-class insurance salesman dresses up as a frog and tosses young women from the Disneyland parking lot into his minivan screaming “I need a princess to kiss me!”
Rich Girl — A bored billionairess invites men from Craigslist over and forces them to cage fight nude while she sips champagne and tries to hit them with rubber bullets from her solid gold pistol.
Maneater — A tinder-tired millennial listens to her date ramble on about his CrossFit box and Paleo diet for the last time before deciding she’s had enough.
Wait for Me — After receiving a note in her locker, a teenage girl rides her bike into the forest to wait for the quarterback yet encounters an ax-wielding man dressed as the Bounty lumberjack instead.
Crazy Eyes — Convinced he’s destined to be with the woman in apartment 4B, a delusional landlord breaks in while she’s at work and fries up all her goldfish for a romantic dinner while wearing a pair of her grandmother’s underwear.
Crime Pays — A real estate tycoon who fancies himself an artist runs a dark web business selling tiny sculptures of angels carved from human bones.
Possession Obsession — Carrying a lock of her hair around since high school, a tech millionaire finds his long-lost crush and takes her on a private jet that mysteriously disappears in mid-air.
Unguarded Minute — A woman in a dark parking lot pauses to grab her keys from her purse and is dragged into an apocalyptic underground cult through a nearby manhole.
