The 7 Best Songs To Play While Being Seduced By A Beautiful Older Woman
Well, well, well, take a look at you, stud! The ink on your bachelor’s degree is barely dry and it looks like you’ve gotten yourself caught up in the old rigmarole of being some older woman’s love-thing! This is an exciting time for you, but it can also be a bit of a fiasco if you don’t play your cards right.
Giving in to the desire to make love to a woman your parents’ age can be tricky, so you’ll want to be prepared. Setting the mood is essential, and that can’t be done without a little erotic music. That’s why we’ve compiled the seven best songs for being seduced by a more refined lady:
1. “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel
Put this song on as you storm off to your bedroom during mom and dad’s dumb party, to let this older vixen know you’re ready to leave the nest. She’ll notice your maturity and will probably insist you give her a ride home. Who knows where things could go from there?
2. “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel
When you’re feeling a tug in the undies at the thought of booking a room at the Taft Hotel under the name “Mr. Gladstone,” this song’s haunting melodies are the perfect thing to calm you down and prepare you for some very adult sex. You don’t want to seem too eager to make love to a woman who remembers when you were in diapers.
3. “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel
Here’s another sexy track that blends well with a taboo soirée involving a woman twice your age. A song like this pairs well with her telling you about the passion in her last marriage dying after the birth of her daughter. Then you can whisper sweet nothings into… wait, she has a daughter?
4. “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel
So at this point, we’ve determined that your older love interest doesn’t like it when you joke about dating her daughter. Since it’s all you want to talk about, though, we recommend playing this song for her in lieu of conversation. But wouldn’t it be great if there was a version of this vulpine beauty that was young enough for your parents’ approval? Like, that would be pretty ideal, if you think about it.
5. “Scarborough Fair / Canticle — Interlude” by Simon & Garfunkel
Things have become very complicated. The older woman who did the nasty with you is furious about your interest in her daughter, so you took her to a strip club and bonded over fast food. What the hell is going on? Let’s switch it up and have ourselves a think before moving forward.
6. “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel
Oh, buddy, we are in deep shit. One thing led to another, and now your older lover’s husband wants you incarcerated. Meanwhile, her daughter is marrying some guy named Carl. Better put on this old reliable tune and do some breathing exercises. What a mess.
7. “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel
Things have turned around! After breaking into her house, you are told by your aging fling that nothing will prevent her daughter’s marriage, but that won’t stop you! You rush to the wedding and bang on the chapel doors until she chooses you over that chump Carl. Then the two of you get married on a bus. What better song to underscore this beautiful moment than the one you haven’t stopped listening to in months?
There you have it! Time to get your zoot suit pressed and ravish a cougar in need of some young tail. Just relax, put on these songs, and watch the sparks fly! And remember, darkness is your friend, so turn out the lights before you get jiggy with it!
