The Definitive Guide To Talking About Your Dog

Adam Dietz
Slackjaw
Published in
3 min readJun 3, 2024

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Photo by Milli on Unsplash

Is it okay to talk about my dog if someone asks me about my dog?

If someone asks about your dog, it is not only appropriate that you talk about your dog, but it is expected.

You should be warned, however, that the person asking about your dog might only be doing so in order to have an excuse to talk about their dog. This is a very common conversational tactic, both in dog-related and in regular conversations.

Am I allowed to talk about my dog in response to someone else telling a story about their children?

If someone is talking about their children, and your mind immediately goes to your dog, that’s telling. While to you, your dog may feel like a child as you care for it and are largely responsible for its survival, for someone else, it may be insulting when you compare their child graduating from college and your dog doing well in obedience classes

Is it acceptable to talk about my dog to my dog?

It is permissible to talk about your dog to your dog but be warned, it could give him/her a pretty massive ego.

You’re already feeding the dog, walking it, and picking up its poop, so be wary of your pet’s impending narcissism before engaging it in conversation about itself too often.

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Adam Dietz
Slackjaw

Comedy writer with work in McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Points in Case, etc. Editor of the Yapjaw newsletter.