The Difference Between Santa And Jesus

Laura Plummer
Slackjaw
Published in
3 min readDec 14, 2022
Photo by Jesson Mata on Unsplash

Honey, I have something to tell you.

Yes, Mom?

Well, you know Christmas is right around the corner. And I think you’re old enough to know that when you get gifts from Santa, they’re really from Daddy and me. Santa isn’t a real person.

He’s not?

No.

Did he die?

No. He didn’t die. He just never existed.

But you told me he did.

I know.

So you lied to me.

No… I mean, yes, I guess so…

Why?

It’s just a story that parents make up to tell their kids.

Why?

Well, um… I don’t know why. A lot of parents got together and decided to make up a story about Santa.

But you said lying was bad.

Well, it is. But sometimes it’s okay.

When is it okay?

Well, it’s okay when you’re trying to make someone happy.

Oh. So what about the Easter Bunny?

He’s not real either. All those people who you can’t see are made up.

So Santa and the Easter Bunny and God are made up?

No, not God. God is real.

But I can’t see God.

Yes, but God is different.

How?

Well, God is like our father. He gave us the gift of life.

So God is different because he gives us gifts.

Yes.

Like Santa.

No. Well, yes, but God gives us different kinds of gifts.

So Santa and the Easter Bunny are fake, but God and the Tooth Fairy are real?

No, not the Tooth Fairy. Just God.

How do I know?

Because I’m telling you.

But maybe you made it up.

No, I didn’t make it up.

So God is real, but Santa and the Tooth Fairy and Jesus aren’t real?

No, Jesus is real, too.

Does Jesus bring us the chocolate eggs?

No, Mommy and Daddy do that.

And Jesus takes my teeth?

No, Mommy and Daddy do that, too.

What about The Cat in the Hat?

He’s just a character from a book…

So is Jesus. He’s in the Bible.

Right, but the Bible is true.

How do you know?

Because that’s what the church tells us.

Maybe the church was lying to make you happy.

No, it doesn’t work that way.

If Jesus is real, maybe Santa is real too.

He’s not.

How do you know?

Have you ever seen Santa?

Have you ever seen Jesus?

Of course not. That’s because he lives in our hearts.

Maybe Santa lives in our hearts, too.

No, he doesn’t.

How do you know?

I just know.

How does Jesus live in our hearts?

Well, because he was a real person who died, but then he came back to life.

Like a ghost?

Yes.

And ghosts live in your heart?

Only Jesus lives in your heart.

So ghosts are real.

No, just the ghost of Jesus.

So Jesus was a real person, but now he’s a ghost who lives in our heart.

Yes.

And Santa is a ghost too.

No, Santa isn’t a ghost.

Why not?

Because he was never a real person.

Is Mowgli real?

No, he’s made up.

How do you know?

Because someone sat down and wrote a book and made him up. Look, God and Jesus are real, but Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and the Cat in the Hat and Mowgli aren’t real. Does that make sense?

I guess.

But do me a favor. Don’t tell your little sister, okay?

I won’t. She wouldn’t understand anyway.

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Laura Plummer
Slackjaw

Laura Plummer is an American writer, poet and humorist from Massachusetts. She has lived in Gloucester since 2014.