The Five Stages Of Grief While Building An Ikea Entertainment Center
Denial
I ordered a 10ft x 6ft wall unit. Why is the box only 4ft x 6 inches?
Seriously, 932 pieces? This can’t be the right package. They made a mistake!
Sixteen small, plastic bags filled with nuts, screws, and dowels. Impossible! No one could transform all of this stuff into a wall unit.
Why does it come with three separate manuals? And why are some of the instructions written in Egyptian hieroglyphics? I’d never order something that says “Assembly Required,” even if it’s written in small print. I don’t even own a hammer!
Is there a return policy on this thing?
Anger
The website never mentioned that I’d need an electric drill.
What the hell is a wall anchor?
How do I know these sketchy-looking dowels aren’t going to make my wall unit collapse like an accordion?
No Ikea, I don’t know what kind of fucking fastener is suitable for my wall. Is there an app for that?
I’m missing a screw. WHERE IS THE DAMN SCREW?
It’s okay. I don’t need that extra shelf, anyway.
