The Numerous Human Rights Violations Of Christmas Songs

Singers who should be jingling all the way to jail

Image Copyright: Columbia Records. (Fair Use.)

Songs of the festive season should be about snowmen, joyous children and syrupy eggnog, but some artists have been getting away with horrendous, thinly-veiled crimes against humanity in their Christmas ditties. Here are the main offenders.

Mariah Carey’s “I Don’t Want A Lot For Christmas” promotes human trafficking.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know

Ms. Carey’s gratuitous infringement on the Thirteenth Amendment is as clear as the white puffball on her adorable Santa hat. Furthermore, she shows a distinctly naive understanding of the economics of human ownership, implying that the worth of a person is less than a present under the Christmas tree. Perverse.

John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” is part of a campaign of Russian misinformation.

War is over, if you want it