The Policeman At The End Of King Kong Confirms Kong’s Cause Of Death
“No, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast.” — Carl Denham, King Kong
No, it was definitely airplanes. 100%. I mean, we all stood here together and watched as a series of biplanes took turns shooting down the gorilla-like beast. It happened maybe 30 or 40 seconds ago. Surely you must have seen it happen as you were standing right next to me. Perhaps your view was obstructed by a skyscraper or cloud, but the rest of us saw as an oversized monkey-monster scale the Empire State Building and then get unceremoniously gunned down in the middle of the city. Is your suggestion that it wasn’t actually planes and bullets that brought down the great Kong, but it was instead the beauty of a woman? If so, I’m going to have to strongly disagree. I suspect the coroner will disagree as well. Although, I’m not exactly sure how an autopsy on something that big might work, maybe they have a really large table somewhere or they could lay him out in the parking lot of Yankee Stadium or something of that sort. In any case, when they do so, I feel quite confident, both as a police officer and as a human being with a brain, that the cause of death won’t be “beauty” but will instead be something like “a series of gunshot wounds to the head, neck, and abdomen.” No, I don’t think that beauty killed the beast, it was the arsenal of…
