This Oppressive Government Is Forcing Me To Close My Sneeze-A-Torium
My filthy, germ-filled freedom is being trampled upon.
All my life I believed I lived in the United States of America. Land of the free, ever heard of it? But since these authoritarian coronavirus laws were put in place, I know differently. There’s no way the real United States, a truly free nation, would use this “pandemic” as a reason to close my very own Sneeze-A-Torium.
I’ve owned and operated Reno’s finest (and only) large-scale sneeze palace for two decades. It’s a place the Founding Fathers would have dreamed of if they knew about electricity or a converted warehouse that caters to sovereign citizens in the greater Reno metropolitan area.
I’ve been told I’m a threat to public health. Am I a threat? You bet I am, I’m a big ol’ threat to the corrupt establishment with an iron vice around who gets to sneeze on their fellow man for four bucks a pop (deluxe sneeze package pricing may vary).
Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, I’m used to harassment by a government that no longer stands for the people, especially the people who operate a sneeze-for-cash enterprise to bolster the natural immune systems of borderless patriots.
