Trophy by Emily Clouse

This Year’s Theater Camp For Tone-Deaf Kids Was A Screeching Success!

Our little shriekers overcame all obstacles — from having the natural rhythm of a hooked fish to exhibiting the vocal range of a microwave.

Emily Clouse
Oct 9 · 3 min read
Photo by Jason Rosewell on Unsplash

Dear Parents and Guardians,

As summer comes to a close, we are proud to report that the 46th Annual Beverly Boodle Theater Camp For Tone-Deaf Kids was a screeching success! We cannot thank you enough for allowing your children to share their undisregardable talents with us once again.

This year, our little shriekers overcame all obstacles — from having the natural rhythm of a hooked fish to exhibiting the vocal range of a microwave — to put on a lively, Dadaesque final production without a single injury that exposed the bone. We weren’t sure we could pull it off, but now, stiff drink in hand, we are choosing to believe that we did.

We owe so much of this subjective success to our counselors, the best former high school chorus actors with a combined career total of two spoken lines we could ever ask for. These aging volunteers were born with the necessary belief that because they enjoy performing, others, especially loved ones, should have to watch. We cannot thank them enough for dropping everything to gain a captive audience again this year.

During the weeks spent preparing our original production, The Princess Who Had To Go To Her Room After Church, campers honed a number of skills that will truly last a lifetime. Skills such as:

  • Increased confidence
  • Decreased lack of trying
  • Sporadic clapping on the 2nd and 4th beats
  • Solos (being the loudest)
  • Harmony (being equally as loud as others)
  • Creating characters that require no further development than a wig
  • Why singing hymns in church is only for grownups if that’s what your parents say
  • Jumping up and down with arms overhead, fingers splayed
  • Talking over music instead

Now, you’re probably wondering about the big announcement we have been teasing all summer.

We are thrilled to announce that starting next year, we are launching a brand new sister camp!

Thanks to your unending support of your children, as alarming as it may be, the bar has truly been lowered. So, going forward, young performers who exhibit any amount of onstage acumen — including the ability to not tumble off the front of the stage while taking final bows — will be referred to the new Edna Boodle Theater Camp For Feature Chorus Members Who Can At Least Make Over-Exaggerated Facial Expressions. We can’t wait to see those little eyes bulge!

Thanks again for sharing your child’s unvaluable gifts with us this year. We had lots of fun, made lifelong friends, and learned — for the 46th year in a row — that even if the set is totally demolished while opening the curtains, the show must go on, because you paid good money for this.

Hear you next year!

❤ The Boodles

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Emily Clouse

Written by

// www.emilyfclouse.com //

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

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