‘Tis 1621 And This Year’s Hottest Accessory Is The Buckle
Thou shalt not sleep on this trend.
Good morrow, babes! Hope everyone ‘tis faring fabulously today. I myself continue to adjust to the challenges of our new homeland. These times they art unprecedented, but I pray for those affected by the novel plague, scurvy, and leptospirosis.
As thy find thyselves braving this unknown land, ‘tis the perfect time to reinvent thyself and reconsider thy fashion choices. New world, who thee?
We art faring thee well to the fashion of the Old World. Obviously, some pieces art forever in style (#LoveMyBonnet). Thoust know me. I’m a simple miss, and rarely do I ever don anything flashy. Dare I even call myself chickenhearted when it comes to accessory trends! However, there is one new accessory that all of Plymouth Colony is talking about. As settlers come and go, this piece will stand the test of time and remain essential in thy wardrobe for years to come.
We are talking about the buckle.
The buckle is infecting Plymouth faster than the plague, scurvy, and leptospirosis. Thoughts and prayers to those affected.
Thou shalt not sleep on this trend.
I hath had mine own for a fortnight and cannot fathom life without one. I hooked myself a pair of buckles from my Father and carefully considered how to curate my buckle chic style. At the risk of drawing attention to mine own ankles, I decided to fashion my buckles to my latchets. Mistresses, I swear my feet glow like fine golden maize. I even spotted the governor’s wife, Mistress Bradford, copying my look. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, no doubt!
He who is without sin cast the first stone, but I get an unnatural vibe from Mistress Bradford. Pray pardon me for saying, but, like, is she a witch or something? Pray pardon, I digress.
The buckle is not just for Goodwives and Mistresses. Mine own Father uses his buckles to fashion his breeches together. He be quite proud of these buckles, my Father. In all his ingenuity, Father fastened his buckle to a thin piece of leather from Master Hopkins. Pray thee, check out Master Hopkins’ tannery for truly fabulous leather goods. Father then enclosed his breeches in the leather and buckle, and huzza! The breeches stayed up of thine own accord. Father well may possess the idea for a fabulous new invention.
Father and I were recently at the tavern with town hottie John Smith and immediately noted that he had deliberately fastened to his capotain none other than a buckle. Like a moth to a flame ’twas mine eye to Master Smith. He offered praise of mine own shoe buckles, and I returned the praise for his capotain. I mean, his appearance ’twas fairer than ever in his charming buckle hat. Check out my definitive ranking of men’s hats in my previous post!
I pray thee, acquire thyself a buckle immediately. ’Tis so versatile. It can dress up an outfit for church, if ’tis thy thing. Yet, ’tis also practical for harvesting wheat or sowing thy wild oats. Master Smith has inferred that the wild oats he wishes to sow are mine own. Pray wish me well on this venture!
Thou are straight-up beetle-headed if thou dismisses the buckle trend. Be not seen with a naked hat nor shoe nor waist, lest ye be banished to England on the Mayflower immediately. Or worse, Hell.
