To Be Happy, Stop Comparing Yourself To Others, Especially Me, Genghis Khan

Alex Baia
Slackjaw
Published in
4 min readDec 1, 2021

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National Palace Museum, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Hello, friends, it’s your favorite life coach, Genghis Khan. In my weekly newsletter — Yes You Khan! — I teach you to find success and happiness in every way, from work, to love, to wolf hunting with falcons.

I have some bad news: A ‘thief’ is on the loose! And he can’t be killed with arrows, swords, or even by pouring molten silver into his eyes. And this thief doesn’t steal horses, he steals joy. His name is ‘Comparison.’ It’s true, you can drive yourself nuts just trying to “keep up with the Khanses,” and all their Teslas, iPhones, infinity pools, glittering bejeweled daggers, and tents full of 250 nubile concubines.

You feel like your home isn’t nice enough? Fun fact: My “home” was actually the largest contiguous land empire in human history, from the Sea of Japan to the Carpathian Mountains. 10 million square miles. But did I still want more? Guilty. LOL! Some nights I would fall asleep crying. You know why? Because, unlike Alexander The Great, I never ruled Egypt and Greece. Comparison!

Now, your empire is what, a 700-square-foot one-bedroom in South Austin with a few IKEA pieces, some succulents, and a little balcony that overlooks the parking lot of a CBD shop? My point is that if you compare empires, it’ll just depress you.

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Alex Baia
Slackjaw

Humor writer, book junkie, stargazer, optimist. Resident philosophy major. Get my humor newsletter: https://alexbaia.com/humor