Too Hot To Handle: Social-Distancing Edition
Welcome to season 2 of Too Hot to Handle, the reality show where a group of certified hotties live together and compete to win $100,000 — if they can stop themselves from having sex with each other, that is. It was FIREWORKS last season, and though a few things have changed since then, that’s no reason not to come back with Season 2 of Too Hot to Handle!
Let’s meet our contestants:
Meet Muriel, 21, a bikini model from Cartagena. As you can see from the promo shots, she really likes to wear a face mask and gloves. Yes, these are the most scantily clad outfits we could get her to wear.
Tariq, 28, a jai alai player from Atlanta. He’s a sexy 10/10, who — when he was cast — said he’d “have sex with anyone, any time.” Since the pandemic hit, his sex drive has slowed a bit, and now his gorgeous face is pointed down at his phone checking the news constantly. Watch out ladies!
Joanna, a 24-year-old social media marketer from Lansing, Michigan. According to her, she… scrubs her grocery deliveries outside her front porch and hasn’t seen a person in 5 weeks! We know that when she’s around the other hotties she’ll be tempted like nobody’s business.
Gareth, 19, a student from Perth, Australia. Gareth doesn’t have a phone, and his fraternity doesn’t like to read bad news, so he has no idea what’s been going on in the world.
Let’s see what happens when these 4 babes are stuck in a house together!
Day 1:
Things hit a little bit of a rough patch at the Hottie Hotel when Joanna stole all the cleaning supplies and barricaded herself in her room. We knew it was time to turn up the heat, so we invited everyone to hang out in the hot tub to get to know each other. Unfortunately, only Gareth got in the tub.
It was time to lay down the ground rules: every time they touched anyone, they’d lose money. Gareth was so mad! It was a little weird that Tariq and Muriel started to laugh, but we know sexual tension makes people go a little crazy. It’s gonna be a wild and sexy month!
Day 10:
We spent the morning trying, and failing, to convince Muriel or Tariq to leave their rooms. No one’s seen or heard from Joanna since the first day. At this rate, the contestants will get literally all the cash, unless we do something — so we decided to set up a virtual happy hour FaceTime to get their flirt on.
At happy hour, things started out promisingly. But then Tariq brought up Ecuador’s death toll and the whole thing got a little sad. Gareth’s been learning a LOT.
Day 16:
The temperatures are rising: unfortunately it’s Gareth’s. There aren’t any tests, but he’s dry-coughing, and has a fever. But that’s alright, a plague won’t stop the sparks from flying.
Tariq and Muriel have been baking bread together virtually, and sparks are flying. They’re trading tips, and Tariq’s promised her he’ll leave his starter outside her door, which sure sounds like code for bumping uglies. They’d better prepare to lose some of that prize money…
Day 17:
It turns out Tariq’s sourdough starter was not a euphemism. Despite the producer’s best efforts, he left it outside her door and was back in his room almost immediately.
Gareth is not looking great. Sadly, since we shoot in the Atlanta area, all the hospital beds are full, and there aren’t any ventilators available. Bowling alleys are open though!
Day 25:
No one’s seen each other for a week. Gareth is getting better, but he won’t stop scrubbing his hands. Tariq and Muriel have started planning on starting a bakery together with their winnings.
We’re looking into getting a small business loan to cover the costs of giving all the money to the contestants. But when we finally got a hold of a bank we were told the funds in our area have already been collected by the bank itself.
Day 30:
That’s it. The contestants all won.
So far no one’s willing to leave their rooms though. We left the cash in the center of the house, and are giving them one day to collect it.
Maybe we’ll be able to keep some of the money after all. It’s been 6 hours!
Will the contestants brave the outdoors, or will they find out that it’s TOO HOT TO HANDLE?
…never mind. Joanna — wearing a homemade hazmat suit — took the money to use as toilet paper.
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