Topics of Conversation at Passover Seder

Let me get this straight, you are going to a State college?

Are you dating anyone serious? By the time I was your age, I was married.

When are you getting married?

I don’t care that you are gay, as long as she isn’t a shiksa.

When are you having children?

Are you eating enough? I’ll tell you where the Afikomen is, you look like you need it.

Well, don’t you look “healthy”? I’ve hidden the Afikomen so you’ll never find it. Here have some fruit.

When you kids were that age you wouldn’t dare to behave like this.

What do you mean they don’t have to ask the four questions? What’s free-range parenting? Stop being meshuggina!

Abe’s sister’s best friend’s father in law’s childhood friend died. You know the one… he always drove that Cadillac. Yes, you do, it was green.

Oy, for this, our ancestors escaped slavery, the Pharaoh, AND shlepped through the desert for 40 years?