‘Twas The Night Before Inauguration

Maddie Weigelt
Jan 23 · 2 min read
Image for post
Image for post
Image by Pixabay on Pexels

‘Twas the night before inauguration, and all through the White House,

Lots of creatures were stirring, including Melania’s spouse;

All the stages were set on the Capitol with care,

In hopes that JLo soon would twerk there;

Trump writes a few tweets that will never be read,

While Jack Dorsey is waiting on hold with the feds.

And Melania in her McQueen jacket, and Trump in his toupee,

Were not planning on attending that HUGE day.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Trump assumed it must be Black Lives Matter!

Away to the window, Trump went as fast as he could,

Ready to accuse those nasty boys from the “hood!”

The American flag hung like a giant band-aid,

Gave a new luster of hope to a nation dismayed.

When what to Trump’s crusty eyes should appear,

But an electric car and eight fierce queers.

With a diverse driver, so lively and vibing,

Trump knew in a moment it must be Joe Biden!

More rapid than bald eagles are going extinct he came,

He debated, then finally called them by name:

“Now Tanden! Now, Blinken! Now Yellen and Guzman!

“On, Haaland! On, Garland! On, Regan and Fudge;

“Get out you frauds and forget that wall!

“Now slink away, slink away, slink away all!”

As Trump still insisted he should be crowned,

In came the president-elect in a bound:

He was dressed all in blue from his head to his foot,

Including a pin from Obama which he dawned on his suit.

A bundle of bills hid behind his back,

Everyone speculates, “It must be a stimulus pack!”

Out with the old: the wicked blonde heiress,

There’s a new sheriff in town, it’s Kamala Harris!

Biden told some confusing stories, before getting to work

And gave relief to millions by replacing that jerk.

While America knew there would still be some lows,

A glisten of hope came as the sun arose.

No matter who gets the codes to our guided missiles,

The passion of the people will remain abyssal.

But the Trump era will fade, as he flees into the night.

America’s not great, but we could make it pretty alright.

Follow Slackjaw on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Sign up for Yapjaw

By Slackjaw

Yapjaw is Medium's #1 newsletter for all things humor, and we're sorry to say you'll only receive it a few times a month. Take a look.

By signing up, you will create a Medium account if you don’t already have one. Review our Privacy Policy for more information about our privacy practices.

Check your inbox
Medium sent you an email at to complete your subscription.

Maddie Weigelt

Written by

Intern at Slackjaw. Writings on Slackjaw, The Weekly Humorist, The Belladonna, Points In Case. https://maddieweigelt.wixsite.com/hello Twitter: @Madd_dogW

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Maddie Weigelt

Written by

Intern at Slackjaw. Writings on Slackjaw, The Weekly Humorist, The Belladonna, Points In Case. https://maddieweigelt.wixsite.com/hello Twitter: @Madd_dogW

Slackjaw

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore

If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home. It’s easy and free to post your thinking on any topic. Write on Medium

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store