Ways I’ll Never Be Rich Enough To Die

I can’t afford to die like a millionaire.

Show horse stomping

Penthouse leap

Bentley crash

Truffle gout

Polo mallet head-strike

Hedgerow maze starvation

Mega-yacht explosion

Ocean submersible implosion

Wagyu choking

Helicopter decapitation

Mansion sinkhole

Jewel-encrusted dagger stabbing

Catamaran orca sinking

Bespoke necktie strangulation

Hamptons shark attack

Foie gras poisoning

Wild animal mauling on my safari

Exotic pet mauling in my backyard

French Bulldog mauling in my living room

Limo stroke while signing the deed to my emerald mine