Welcome to Let’sTech, Your New Coworking Space

Welcome to Let’sTech!

We’e so excited that you’ve decided to join our ecosystem of thought leaders, idea makers, concept visionaries, design innovators, solution creators and logic engineers.

Let’sTech isn’t like most co-working spaces: Our goal is to hack the evolution of the co-working continuum and provide our members with the support they need to become the commanders of their own futures.

We aim to revolutionize how freelancers and entrepreneurs disrupt tech and provide society with real-world solutions to everyday problems.

Though we have orientation scheduled for this coming Monday at 10AM, I’d like to share a little bit about what you will get out of Let’sTech. Hopefully you chose us because of the wonderful features our facility provides to its members. In addition to free coffee and healthy snacks, unlimited draft beer, access to conference rooms, printing and mailing, happy hours, networking events, air hockey tables, moderately priced hookers, unlimited blow and a yoga room, we offer these other rockstar features:

• We worked with some of Silicon Valley’s best statisticians to curate the perfect office playlist. Based off our research, productivity in the tech industry is at its peak when songs from The Avett Brothers, Mumford & Sons, The Lumineers, Fleet Foxes, Vampire Weekend, early Kings of Leon and b-sides from Coldplay hit the auditory vortex.
• Don’t have enough time in your day to eat? Unlike our competitors we offer a full-time staff of Nourishment Assistants© who will hand-feed you so you don’t have to drop that important project you’re working on. We also believe in social good, so that’s why our Nourishment Assistants are staffed by small children from St. Anne’s School of Orphaned Youth who can learn real-world experience from YOU! (Their size will also enable them to neatly hide out of place underneath your desk.)
• If you’re a freelancer, we have our automated High-Fiving Machine, equipped with a life-like hand that you can high five when you finish a project or find a solution to a problem and there is no one else around to high-five you and assure you of your awesomeness.
• We offer several scream rooms and cry rooms where you can release emotions without letting your peers know that you are a human being. Our cry rooms provide blinds, tissues, security blankets, padded floors for when you need to curl up and rock in a tiny ball and mini bottles of vodka sponsored by our friends at Pleurnichard Vodka. Our scream rooms offer the same features, with an optional cardboard cutout of that jock in 7th grade who told the entire class that you masturbated with a Teddy Ruxpin doll.
• And ladies, we haven’t forgot about you. We offer a special women’s only gym that provides kick boxing bags dressed in flip flops, hoodies and horn-rimmed glasses with looped audio recordings that say things such as “We know how you actually got this job” and “You look like my sister.”

These are just some of the features that sets Let’sTech apart from the rest.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. Otherwise I look forward to meeting you on Monday at 10AM.

All the best,

Jamie
Your Let’sTech Community Coordinator