Welcome To Our Fancy Restaurant! Here Are Tonight’s Specials And No, You May Not Know Their Price
I will take these prices to my grave, and by grave, I mean the end of the meal
Hello and welcome to our Fancy Restaurant for your Special Occasion! Would you like to hear tonight’s specials? Wonderful! I was going to list them anyway. And just a heads-up — I will not be providing any information about their pricing.
To start, we have two appetizers. The first is a soft-shell crab, which is only available from the first full moon in May until an unspecified time in September when the crabs molt in such a way that we mere mortals find ourselves able to eat their softened, chitinous exoskeleton. It is a true honor to be able to consume these at our restaurant, and no, you may not know their price.
The second appetizer we’ll be offering is an arugula salad. It comes with nothing else. Just some really beautiful arugula on a plate. I said it after the crab dish, so now you can’t assume that I’m listing specials in ascending price order. There’s no way these solo greens cost more than the seasonal shellfish, right? Wrong. It could. But I won’t say either way.
Okay! Next, we have some off-menu sides. We have our delicious asparagus that we grill on a bed of…
