Howdy! It’s us, Mike and Erin, the hosts of “Married and Loving It,” a show where we talk about being married and loving it, here on the Turtle Butt Podcast Network! Do you love to be utterly exhausted after listening to people talk for just three minutes? Then you will adore us, because our enthusiasm for everything from movies we saw recently to wacky adventures we had last week at the laundromat is simply too much!
We started our podcast after our hilarious five-minute conversation in Whole Foods about salami farts had the entire deli counter laughing (silently, in their heads!) We KNEW the rest of the world would want to hear us too!
“Married and Loving It” consists of nothing but relentlessly cheery banter delivered at decibels that are damaging to human ears! Hope you don’t have AirPods on!
Y’ALL! We say y’all a lot! Neither one of us is from the south! Y’all!!!
Our stories about making friends with the person trapped between us on an airplane, or about throwing a Studio Ghibli themed Halloween party even though we’re very white, or about taking pictures together with costumed characters at Disneyland will make you wonder if ALL heterosexual partnerships should be illegal!
We say “Sorry, we are THAT couple!” a lot even though we are clearly not sorry!
We describe every experience, no matter how mundane, as if it were so funny that John Mulaney should recount it onstage! For some reason this story about Erin trying on the wrong size jeans at Target has us in stitches! Y’all — she meant to grab an 8, and instead she grabbed a 28! A 28! Instead of an 8! And didn’t even notice until she put them on! The jeans were so huge that Mike was able to get in one pant leg where Erin was in the other and together we stomped around Target pretending to be Shrek! Are you screaming at your Stitcher Premium app for us to shut the fuck up yet? You will be! This story goes on for the rest of the episode!
Speaking of Target: OH MY GOD, TARGET! WE LOVE GOING TO TARGET TOGETHER SO MUCH!! We stop in EVERY aisle, no matter how crowded, for a boomerang selfie! Sorry, we are THAT couple!
And wait until you hear us read ad copy! (Yup, somehow our podcast has enough fans to be sponsored, even though we throw popcorn in each other’s mouths at the movies! In public!) Ad copy is where our bits really shine! Have you heard the one where we pretend we’re not doing a commercial and then wham, turns out it’s a commercial? There’s also the classic one where Mike does his DeNiro: “You talkin’ to me… about Hello Fresh?” It never gets old, which is good, because you’ll hear it 60-65 times an episode!
We got married when we were both 22 and it shows!!
Stick around for somewhere around episode 19, where we casually mention that we have two kids!!! That’s right, we brought more of us into this world! Scream “oh my god, who told you that was a good idea?!” at your car dashboard all you want, you still won’t be louder than Erin’s on-air reaction to the his and hers matching pairs of Stranger Things Converse Mike just bought! THEY’RE SO CUTE, Y’ALL! WE LOVE STRANGER THINGS!
We own an actual tandem bicycle and yup, we ride it on the sidewalk!
Do you think we should break up because we’re both SO much, or are you happy that the only two people who talk about “butternut squash soup season” like they just did coke off Channing Tatum’s rear end found each other? It’s a fine line!
Subscribe to “Married and Loving It” wherever you get podcasts, or just come find us at Olive Garden, where we’re wearing matching ugly Christmas sweaters, attempting to eat spaghetti like Lady and the Tramp, and feeling out if the waitress would be into it if we asked her for a threesome! Sorry — we’re that couple!