We’re Looking For A Breaking News Reporter Who Can Also Tell Readers If Trader Joe’s Is Open On Easter Sunday
This is why you got a journalism degree
Do you love digging into cold case files but also love finding out answers to questions like “How can I watch Oppenheimer without cable?” Are you willing to combine your reporting on a human trafficking sting with top-ranking search terms on Google Trends? If so, you could be the perfect person for our newly created breaking news reporter/SEO staff writer role.
We won’t lie: It’s a challenging time for journalism. Our staff has been cut by 80 percent in the last decade. Our copy desk currently consists of an AI chatbot and a habitual drunken driver who proofs pages to fulfill a community service requirement. Our newsroom, however, is small yet mighty. We’re ready for a multi-tasking reporter and writer to bring both energy and a high clickthrough rate to our newsroom.
The way our readers consume news is changing, and we’re proud to be changing right along with them. On this beat, you’ll be responsible for covering some of the topics our readers care about the most. If police are locked in a standoff with a suspect considered armed and dangerous, we expect you to be there with your notepad and recorder. But you should also probably bring a laptop, because those things tend to take a while and we also really need you to slap together an article that ranks well for “Which Squishmallows are Bisexual?”
We’re all working hard here (but not taking overtime, because that’s not allowed), and there’s not always enough time to separate two important topics into distinct stories. People are busy, and we need to give them as many answers as possible as efficiently as possible, because half the time, they won’t read the whole article anyway. To that end, we’d like you to submit a resume and clips, plus complete the following prompt:
It’s a week before Easter, and people are ready to go shopping. But there’s also a news release from the police department in your inbox, and it looks like there’s been a triple homicide on the east side of town. Using the attached news release as well as your Google skills, combine an article about the homicides with an article that answers the question, “Is Trader Joe’s open on Easter Sunday?
Try writing something like “Police said there’s no threat to the public. Surviving family members have been offered counseling services. But experts say not everyone will need to speak with a professional. Some people will be OK taking a walk or eating their favorite snack, especially if that snack is Trader Joe’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups.” Don’t use that exact sentence, but feel free to mention Trader Joe’s products whenever it feels natural.
One more tip: don’t answer the question too quickly. We need to reduce our bounce rate, so it’s helpful if you don’t give any concrete information about Trader Joe’s Easter hours until the last paragraph or two.
Once you complete this test assignment, return it to City Editor/Obituaries Clerk by emailing obits@dailypresstimes.info. Please include your salary requirements, and/or confirmation that you are independently wealthy and mostly want to work as a hobby. This is a 1099 position with no benefits and since you work on (story) tips, you will be paid the minimum federal waitstaff wage of $2.13 an hour.
