What Does Steve Bannon Look Like?

Sarah Aswell
Jan 31, 2017 · 2 min read

I don’t think that it’s right to make fun of a person’s appearance. It’s a cheap shot, it’s mean, and it doesn’t really accomplish anything. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Just like it’s not okay to punch people (but I’m pretty sure it’s okay to punch nazis), I am lifting my ban on personal attacks to talk about what Stephen Bannon looks like.

  • Steve Bannon looks like I tried to draw a portrait of Robert Redford onto a balloon.
  • Steve Bannon looks like he sold his soul to the devil and was then, in an unrelated incident, stung by a lot of bees.
  • Steve Bannon looks like I imagine he smells.
  • Steve Bannon looks like someone using his very own face to disprove the concept of white supremacy.
  • Stephen Bannon looks like an animated personification of eczema.
  • Steve Bannon looks like Ron White just found out that his whole family died.
  • Steve Bannon looks like his evilness is trying to escape from his body through his pores.
  • Steve Bannon looks like a Garbage Pail Kid.
  • Steve Bannon looks like alt-beauty.
  • Steve Bannon looks like Bill Belichick on the 300th day of a bender.
  • Steve Bannon looks like he’s on drugs.
  • Steve Bannon looks like I’m on drugs.
  • Steve Bannon looks a jack-o-lantern in December, after a cold rain.
  • Steve Bannon looks like when I forget I have bread dough rising, and the bread dough also grew little piggy eyes and stubble.
  • Steve Bannon looks like a physical representation of his beliefs.

What do you think Steve Bannon looks like? Leave a comment below.

Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore

If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home. It’s easy and free to post your thinking on any topic. Write on Medium

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store