What Goes Through A Car Dealer’s Mind When I Enter A Dealership

He’s really, really trying to do the right thing.

Jeff King
Slackjaw

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A picture of a salesperson at a car dealership
Photo by Antoni Shkraba from Pexels

Look at this fantastic new customer as he comes through the door of my humble dealership. He seems a bit nervous. I will put him at ease. Every customer is a special and unique person that I get to make happy — what a privilege! I’m so glad I got back from my lunchtime charity work in time to be of service. I walk over and extend my hand. What’s he looking for?

Oh, ha ha. He just asked if all the cars I sell have four wheels, because he really wants one with four wheels. I appreciate the humor. This job can get pretty tough, so a laugh now and then is appreciated. What a fun guy!

Hmm, maybe that wasn’t a joke. I can see him silently counting the wheels on every car in the showroom. Now, he’s wondering about colors. We haven’t even started talking make or model. I’ll see if I can interrupt him. Maybe if I assure him that we have it in gray, he’ll let me get a word in.

He’s getting out his wallet. This is happening too quickly. As much as I would love to make a quick sale, I must resist. I must think only of his and his family’s happiness. I made a vow when I started this dealership: We will not take advantage of people.

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Jeff King
Slackjaw

Jeff's writing has appeared in McSweeney's, Johnny America, Jane Austen's Wastepaper Basket, MuddyUm, Slackjaw, and elsewhere. For more, visit jeffiswriting.ca.